Surviving the school holidays

The school summer holidays are almost upon us so perhaps the anticipation of how to manage work and the kids has come into sharp focus! Aside from the prospect of keeping children entertained, there’s the inevitable guilt as we try and find ways to deliver on both work and home expectations.  

The first thing to recognise is that you’re not alone in this feeling. There’s no such thing as perfect parenting, and we’re all doing our best with something that has no rule book! In this article I’ll share some key considerations for managing your own resilience through this period, as well as some practical tips for keeping on top of the work life juggle.

What is resilience?

“People and things that are resilient are able to recover easily and quickly from unpleasant or damaging events.*‘’

This doesn’t mean you necessarily bounce back from every challenging situation with a spring in your step, but rather you find a way to manage your way through. Some of the pillars of resilience include having a strong support network, knowing which coping strategies work for you and looking after your emotional wellbeing.

This ability to stay strong, focused and in control will stand you in good stead during the holiday period.  

Looking after yourself

The old adage, ‘put your oxygen mask on before helping others’ has never been truer when it comes to the school holiday season. There’s often an expectation as working parents that we have to be the best parent/partner/employee all the time. So if we feel like we’re falling short of that it’s deemed as failure.  Remember, good is good enough.

So give yourself a break, have realistic expectations about what you can take on and make time for yourself as well as family and friends. A morning exercise to try is to ask yourself, “what do I need to achieve for today to feel successful?” This isn’t about writing a to-do list but more about the things that really matter to your happiness and fulfilment, just one or two.

Then ask yourself, “What could stop me from getting those things done and how can I move those barriers out of the way early in the day?” Then repeat this exercise in the evening, but instead remind yourself what you achieved that day, however small. Allow yourself to celebrate your wins.

Communication is key

Communication and teamwork are key during the summer period. Understanding what each party needs in order to manage can only be achieved through open, honest conversations, whether that’s with a spouse, partner, wider family or your employer.

So firstly think about your own boundaries and non-negotiables for this period. What support are you asking for and how can you structure your conversation so that your request is clear? Also consider what the other person might need from you.

And keep the kids in the loop too. My daughters will go to a holiday camp for a few days over the summer and it’s not an idea they revel in. But explaining to them the reasons why allows them to share their feelings and feel included in the decision making process.

Understand and leverage your coping strategies

We all have default strategies for coping with certain situations. Often unconscious, our past experiences shape the way we deal with challenges in the here and now. Making these strategies more purposeful builds our resilience and helps us maintain our emotional wellbeing.

Some common strategies include: talking things through with a trusted advisor, walking away from a situation to gain some perspective, practicing mindfulness or creating a plan of action.  

Once you find what works best for you then it’s a case of drawing on them when they’re needed. And when you’re faced with a new challenge, decide what your coping strategy for that is going to be and add that to your armory for the future.

Plan, plan, plan

With so many balls in the air, the school holidays could easily overwhelm even the best planners among us.  Creating a plan (with some flexibility!) can help keep things in check, allowing you to focus on work and family time without guilt or anxiety. It also gives you something tangible to shape a conversation with family or your employer.

Build the plan around work commitments, booked holidays, kids activities (whether that’s with you/your partner, wider family or paid for childcare) and leave some space in between to recharge.

Going back to communication, involve the kids in the planning so they know what to expect each week.  And review your plan weekly in case anything needs to change.

This too shall pass

Time flies, seemingly even faster as a working parent, so if 6 weeks of summer holidays seems like a long stretch ahead of us, before we know it they’ll be back at school and back in a routine. Hopefully with planning, honest conversations and self-care we can enjoy being present in the moment, knowing we’re doing the best we can and the kids will have a great summer break whatever they do.