Shifting Sands.
This year we have all had to adjust to a lot of change. We have spent long periods inside when we might normally have been out and about. Many of us have found ourselves suddenly working from home on a full-time basis – often alongside home-schooling our children. Some of us have experienced some very difficult changes. Adapting to change can undoubtedly be challenging, so what can we do to make the process easier for ourselves?
The first thing to bear in mind is that change is inevitable. It happens to all of us, all of the time. We just don't give ourselves enough credit for how much change we already deal with on a regular basis – and how we've already built up valuable experience and strategies for dealing with change when it happens.
Change can mean anything from a variation in our daily routine through to major adjustments such as moving house, getting married, getting divorced, having a family, starting a new job, retiring from work or suffering bereavement. Recently, we have all had to deal with major change as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Change is often perceived as negative because it causes us to feel anxious and uncertain. We are out of our comfort zone and we don’t know what to do next. Change can also be positive, however. When faced with a new situation, we have to grow as a person and develop new skills. This means we are more likely to adapt and cope better in the future when confronted with further change.
Chosen or imposed? The way in which we perceive, and respond to, change is likely to vary depending on whether we have chosen the change or had the change imposed upon us. For example, we might choose to switch jobs, move house, start a family or retire. We don’t choose to fall sick or to suffer bereavement. In a workplace context, much of the change we experience is imposed – for example, we might be asked to take on a critical new project or be selected for a redundancy programme.
In theory, we are better prepared for the changes we’ve chosen because we planned for them in advance and we prepared for what was to come. Nevertheless, we can still feel unsettled when the change actually happens because it’s impossible to fully anticipate how we will feel at that point, or perhaps we simply weren’t as prepared as we thought we were.
Dealing with enforced change, such as the Covid-19 pandemic, can be more stressful because we often have very little time to prepare for it. We find ourselves suddenly going through the so-called ‘change curve’.
Coping strategies: Fortunately, there are some strategies we can follow to help us cope with change:
Explore
Give yourself permission to reflect on what’s happening. Too often people feel guilty when they focus on themselves – which is why coaching can be very useful. Coaching gives you the space to talk about yourself freely, without inviting judgement. When you reflect, be honest with yourself and be open to feeling anxious, nervous or unsure. Explore what the trigger for the change was and how it makes you feel. Have you – or someone else you know – been through something similar before, which could provide you with experiences to draw on?
Focus
Talk about your problems, and the actions you can take to address them, instead of concentrating on your emotions and feelings. Think about what matters to you going forward instead of dwelling on your fears. Accept the past because it’s gone. You can’t do anything to change it. Your focus should be on the future.
Act
Redefine your goals and priorities to help you move forward. You can do this by understanding what your passions are and what motivates you. The process of taking action will seem more manageable if you take small steps and celebrate every time you achieve a milestone. It’s important to either write down your action plan or talk it through with someone else, such as a family member. By doing that, you will hold yourself accountable.
Change doesn’t have to invoke a sense of dread. Aim to embrace it and turn it into something positive.
Finally, remember that it is natural to have negative feelings about change. So, acknowledge that negativity and any accompanying sense of anxiety that you have. Acknowledgement will help you to deal with those feelings and work through them logically.
